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Theatres 12/11/2003
Can anyone name 2 people shot in the back of the head at a theatre?
<br>
.
..
...
ok, almost everyone got Abraham Lincoln...anyone get
the other?
<br>
.
..
...
The guy sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman!
1 Comments, 23 Views,
32 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Attitude 12/8/2003
A husband to be is walking with his father a few weeks before
the wedding... His dad tells him you have to be sure to
put your wife in her place now a days... He tells his on
your wedding night I want to take off your pants and hand
them to your wife, have her put them on... When she complains
they dont fit tell her thats right you are the man and you
wear the pants in the family, that ...
4 Comments, 785 Views,
99 Votes
,7.49 Score
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parts that cant be use 12/7/2003
There is few parts in a guy body that cant be use.
A guy have 20 nails that cant be nail, a belley button tath
cant be button, 2 balls that cant roll and a cock that cant
crow.
For girls, they have a part that cant be use to... they have
a pussy that cant catch mice.
2 Comments, 44 Views,
27 Votes
,4.29 Score
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Jeopardy question #2 12/5/2003
For $600:
<br>
The Jeopardy answer is: The Grand Canyon, Licnoln Memorial,
and Dolly Parton
.......
.......
.......
.......
.......
.......
Name 4 national monuments
2 Comments, 23 Views,
33 Votes
,0.30 Score
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Jeopardy question #3 12/5/2003
For $700
<br>
The Jeopardy answer is: Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones,
and Hari Krishnas
......
......
......
......
......
What are 2 rock groups, and a group of rocks?
1 Comments, 42 Views,
21 Votes
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Jeopardy Question #4 12/5/2003
For $800
<br>
The Jeopardy answer is: A rook, a pawn, and Dolly Parton
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
Name two chess pieces, and a piece with 2 chests
2 Comments, 12 Views,
18 Votes
,1.08 Score
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Final Jeopardy 12/5/2003
Your Final Jeopardy answer is:
<br>
An eagle, Pee Wee Herman, and Osama Bin Laden
..........
..........
..........
..........
<br>
Name a bird, a nerd, and a turd.
2 Comments, 15 Views,
20 Votes
,1.85 Score
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Farmer in the city 12/5/2003
A farmer walks into a New York City bar, carrying a bucket
of manure, a shotgun, and a dead cat. Well, the bartender
thought he had seen it all until this! He didn't wan't
to upset the farmer, so he figured he would play along.
<br>
"What can I get you?", asked the bartender.
"Why, I'll have me one of those fancy beers I heard
so much about", the farmer replied. The farmer then ...
2 Comments, 39 Views,
30 Votes
,5.69 Score
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Strangers on a train 12/5/2003
Everyday, Tony takes the train to work. And, everyday,
a Frenchman sits next to him. At least twice during each
trip, the Frenchman would take his right index finger to
his nose, and say, "Fifi". Well, one day Tony
had to ask why the Frenchman did that. "You see",
said the Frenchman, "I love my wife, Fifi, very much.
So, everday before I go to work, I stick my finger up her.
Then, whenever ...
1 Comments, 39 Views,
29 Votes
,3.44 Score
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Love or Lust 12/3/2003
A girl comes home after curfew only to find her mother waiting
up for her when she turns on the light. Disgusted, the young
girl says, "Mom, I don't even want to hear it,
I'm in love and you know it. I was at Jimmy's house,
I sucked his dick, then he fucked me in my ass." The
mother shaking her head, says, "You're confusing
love with lust. Had you let Jimmy fuck you in your ass THEN ...
1 Comments, 60 Views,
97 Votes
,6.75 Score
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STILL A VIRGIN!!! 11/29/2003
a young woman was applying for a job and i told her to fill
up the application form. on box 3 - sex, she inquired what
to answer since she has not experience yet with regards
to sex since she though F (for female) means frequent and
M (for male) means moderate.
1 Comments, 59 Views,
3 Votes
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Things you can say at Thanksgiving and get away with in mixed company 11/19/2003
Things you can say on Thanksgiving & get away with.....
<br>
Talk about a huge breast!
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
It's Cool Whip time!
If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
Whew, that's one terrific spread!
I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
Are you ready for seconds yet?
It's just a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your turn, ...
3 Comments, 192 Views,
56 Votes
,8.52 Score
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THE PASTOR AND THE SONUVABITCH 11/13/2003
One day a local man asks the pastor to go fishing with him.Off
they go and its not long before the pastor hooks a big one.As
their landing it the dude exclaims "look at the size
of that of a bitch" Startled, the pastor lets out
a grunt of disaproval, the dude quickly covers his ass
by explaining thats what kind of fish it is, a "sonuvabitch".
The pastor takes the fish back to the church ...
1 Comments, 35 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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At The Sperm Bank 11/10/2003
A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman
behind the counter, and says, "Open the safe."
She says, "This isn't a real bank, it's a
sperm bank."
He says, "Open the safe or I'll shoot."
She opens the safe, and he says, "Now take one of the
bottles and drink it."
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his
mask and the woman realizes the robber is ...
1 Comments, 30 Views,
0 Votes
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Boy Scouts, Lawyers, And Priests 11/10/2003
Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a
plane that is about to crash.
The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's
give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their
whole lives in front of them"
The lawyer says "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"
The priest says, "Do we have time?"
1 Comments, 38 Views,
0 Votes
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A Before And After Scene 11/10/2003
This husband and wife are staying in a hotel, and after a
romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed. However,
as soon as they settled down, the man (not quite ready for
slumber) leans over and whispers softly, "Hey snuggle
boopy boops, your lickle hubby wubby isn't quite ready
for bye-byes yet."
The wife takes the hint and says, "OK, but I have to
use the bathroom first." So ...
1 Comments, 55 Views,
0 Votes
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We Really Can't Win! 11/7/2003
A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor
condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the
railing. "Damn, that was stupid, " she thought
as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing
caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked,
"Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
63 Votes
,7.10 Score
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Construction Site Sign Language 11/7/2003
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this
unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy
to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow
worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could
not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the
guy on the ground could understand him.
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then ...
1 Comments, 30 Views,
92 Votes
,7.76 Score
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Advice from the Virgin Mary. 11/7/2003
Next time you come to the supper table with dirty feet, it
will be your last Jesus!
1 Comments, 22 Views,
42 Votes
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unemployment office 10/31/2003
Words from Satan that are not found in the Bible. Cain, the
Lord is telling everybody that you are not Able and available
for work.
1 Comments, 24 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Viagra 10/29/2003
An 80 year old man goes to his chemist and asks for 1/4th tablet
of viagra. The chemist suggests a higher dosage. the man
says no just give me enough so that when I piss i don't
wet my shoes
1 Comments, 54 Views,
172 Votes
,4.06 Score
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Penguin in the Desert 10/27/2003
A penguin is driving through the desert and his care breaks
down. He gets out of the car and starts walking toward the
nearest town. On his way he comes across a pay phone and calls
a tow truck. The tow truck comes and picks him up and takes
him into town. The mechanic tells him it will be a while before
his car is fixed and the penguin goes and looks around town.
He is walking down ...
3 Comments, 245 Views,
109 Votes
,7.17 Score
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Hot Fun in the Shuswap 10/26/2003
If thise joke makes you laugh, Vote on it & earn points.
Thx
<br>
HOT FUN IN THE SHUSWAP
<br>
>May 30th:
>Just moved to THE SUNNY OKANAGAN. NOW THIS IS THE PLACE
TO LIVE..
>Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
>What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found
my home. I love it here.
>June 14th:
>Really heating up. Got to 100 ...
1 Comments, 82 Views,
50 Votes
,6.11 Score
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Old lady Joke 10/11/2003
And Old Lady was in a store buying a baseball bat for her grandson.
As she was being rung up the clerk asked, "Do you wanna
Ball for the Bat?"
The Old lady said "No, But I'll blow you for the
Skateboard."
1 Comments, 33 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Little girl 10/6/2003
Q: how do you make a little girl screem twice?
A: smack her teddy bear with your bloddy dick?
2 Comments, 16 Views,
5 Votes
,0.53 Score
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Don't go to this doctor 10/5/2003
A man walks into a doctor's office. He tells the doctor
that he's been having problems with his ass. The doctor
checks him out. The doctor tells him that he has found something
wrong, but there is a cure. He perscripes supositories
and shows him how to have them inserted. The man goes home
to his wife and tells her all about it. When the time comes
to insert the supository, he tells his ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
126 Votes
,7.64 Score
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lesbians 10/2/2003
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common???????They
both use snap-on tools
2 Comments, 31 Views,
36 Votes
,4.71 Score
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Phasing out breast reduction 10/1/2003
A guy was looking at his wife undress before they went to
bed.
<br>
she was standing there naked and looked down and said "Iwished
my tits were bigger I should get implants".
<br>
The husband said "You don't need implants you
can make them bigger yourself, hold on".
<br>
He jumped, ran to the bathroom and came back with toilet
paper. she said "How will ...
1 Comments, 38 Views,
40 Votes
,3.64 Score
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Your pussy is too big when 10/1/2003
A couple was getting ready to have sex. The wife gave the
husband a blow job, and then he started to go down on her.
<br>
"Damn you got a big pussy" Damn you got a big pussy.
<br>
She looked down angrily at him and said "You didn't
have to say it twice."
<br>
He said "I didn't."
1 Comments, 92 Views,
98 Votes
,6.82 Score
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True friends 10/1/2003
one day a wife was at home cleaning the house while her husband
Bob was out looking for a job.
<br>
The doorbell rings and she answers it. It is his best friend
Larry.
<br>
Hi she said "what can I do for you?"
<br>
Larry says "I heard Bob is looking for a job and you
guys need money right?" "So I thought you have
such a nice pair of tits I would pay $20 ...
1 Comments, 202 Views,
72 Votes
,8.46 Score
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